You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
