Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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