think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
