Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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