I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
