I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
