well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
