There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i think my cat just said my name.
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