this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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