I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
