pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize