Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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