I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
