I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
