she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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