But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
