somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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