You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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