ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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