I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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