Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
