bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize