Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ugly people sure do ruin things
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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