Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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