I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
