:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
