Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I will pee on everything he values.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
