tell your sister to shave her snatch
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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