So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
