I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
