Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
