I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
