id be glad to
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize