It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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