If i come over, it means nothing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
