its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
