redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
