I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize