How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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