is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize