Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
