i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
