Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
