My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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