The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
