had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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