her vagine was all disorganized.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
