He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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