Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
