So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
