so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
