i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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