so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
