He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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