There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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