so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Randomize
