What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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