so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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