Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
