i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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