I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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